I want to share a memory, even though it’s not my proudest moment as someone living with bipolar disorder. Still, it’s an important part of my journey—one I’ve faced more than once.
This story is about the first time I left my wife and kids. Some details are a bit fuzzy since this happened about 15 years ago, but I know it was during a time when my medication wasn’t keeping me balanced.
At the time, I was married to my best friend—my rock, my biggest cheerleader. I had kids who I deeply loved and who loved me just as much. So, why did I leave? It’s a fair question, and one I’ve had to ask myself.
The best way I can explain it is this: I was trapped in an overwhelming spiral of overthinking. What started as small, nagging thoughts grew into irrational beliefs that felt more real to me than reality itself. Those distorted thoughts convinced me my marriage was over, so I left North Carolina and headed to Florida.
I was gone for two weeks. During that time, I had the space to process what had happened and came to understand that I needed to go home.
It was a terrifying situation for everyone involved, but it taught me some critical lessons. If you’re feeling this way—like your thoughts are taking over—I urge you to seek help. This isn’t your fault. It simply means something in your life isn’t balanced.
Asking for help isn’t a failure; it’s an act of courage. Lean on your support systems, and if they’re not enough, don’t hesitate to find new ones. This feeling will pass—I promise you.
The bipolar mind is amazing in so many ways, offering creativity, empathy, and resilience. But left unchecked, it can also lead you down a dangerous path. It’s okay to need help to find balance.
