Growing up in Maine, I never imagined the journey life would take me on. In the 1970s, I married a Navy serviceman in my twenties, full of hope and excitement for the future. Shortly after our wedding, we moved to Florida, marking the beginning of a life filled with constant change.
Being the wife of a serviceman was far more challenging than I had anticipated. I was always away from my family and friends, and with his long deployments, I felt profoundly alone—struggling with my mental health, something I didn’t even fully understand at the time. Just when I would start feeling comfortable, we’d have to move again, relocating to different places in Florida. While there were moments of fun and adventure, the constant upheaval took its toll. Changing jobs, leaving behind friends, and trying to rebuild each time never got easier. Yes, as a military spouse, I knew relocations were part of the deal, but that didn’t make them any less difficult.
As the years went by, my marriage became increasingly strained. The man I had once loved became unrecognizable—controlling, verbally abusive, and manipulative. The loneliness I had felt during his deployments was replaced by an even heavier sadness when he was home. And yet, when he left on deployment, I felt a sense of relief, only to be consumed by guilt for feeling that way. I tried to justify staying, telling myself that he, too, endured hardships while serving, but deep down, I was slowly losing myself.
After 25 years, we returned to Maine when my husband retired. I had hoped that with military life behind us, we could work on our relationship—that for once, my voice would be heard. But it wasn’t. Desperate to make things work, I followed him to Long Island, NY, clinging to the hope that away from the chaos, we could finally reconnect. Instead, the abuse escalated, becoming unbearable. Left with no other choice, I found the strength to leave.
I returned to Maine, where my family and friends embraced me with open arms. With their love and support, I began to heal. It was the start of a new chapter, one where I could finally look ahead instead of dwelling on the past. Now that I understand my mental health, I can look back and recognize the incredible strength I had—strength that carried me through even the darkest times. Today, I embrace that resilience and use it to guide me on my journey forward.
