If you’re the parent of a child with a mental health or mood disorder, you’ve probably asked yourself: How do I handle it when my child becomes elevated, unresponsive, or completely out of control?

There’s no simple answer, no one-size-fits-all approach. There are countless combinations of triggers and circumstances that can push a child to what feels like a level 10. I’ve lived with Bipolar I for over 50 years. You might think that gives me an edge or makes me an expert, but it doesn’t. What it does give me is a deeper understanding and, perhaps, a slightly better success rate when it comes to de-escalating a child in crisis.

This journey is incredibly hard. Your child may become physical, yell, swear, or show extreme disrespect. If you’re a parent who hasn’t personally dealt with mental health struggles, I can only imagine how overwhelming and heartbreaking this can feel. I catch a glimpse of it when I watch my wife support and manage our child during these episodes.

There’s a big difference between typical tantrums or age-appropriate acting out and a true manic episode. During mania, their brain is racing. Thoughts spin so fast that they can’t keep up. They’re trying to piece things together, often in ways that don’t make sense to us, but feel very real to them.

In those moments, your best tool is to stay calm and lean on your de-escalation techniques. Remember to listen and validate your child ensuring them that they are being heard. I know, it’s easier said than done. And yes, we will all fail at times. We’re human. But remember this: your child doesn’t want to feel this way. In fact, they’re often terrified by their own lack of control.

One telltale sign is their pupils, often dilated during manic episodes. When you notice that, let it serve as your reminder that your child is in a state they cannot manage on their own. This is your cue to breathe, stay grounded, and focus on bringing them back down safely.

Only after your child has returned to a calm state is it time to reflect together, balancing accountability with compassion for their mental health condition.

I’ll be sharing more insights on this topic in future posts. For now, I want to say this: congratulations to every parent who shows up and fights this fight every day. Give yourself credit. This is far from easy.

But I promise you, it does get easier. With time, with support, and with the right tools, there is light at the end of the tunnel.